Waterlillyes

A slightly crazy 25 year old with a great husband and two wonderful kids. The only reason one would want to read my inner thoughts is complete boredom or unconditional love.

Friday, October 27, 2006

"And it's just a box of rain..."

Those are lyrics from one of my favorite songs, "Box of Rain" by Grateful Dead...its in my head.
Friday is here, hooray! It's looking like a pretty good weekend. After the rain lets up, the rest of it should be sunny and happy lol. I somehow managed to leave the house this morning without getting completely drenched. Jessie and I are taking a road trip tonight! ha well a mini-road trip. Its fun when its just us two, we can turn up the music and we don't have to worry about making so many bathroom stops for the kids. They're excited about going to see their cousins and going on the hayride. This morning Lily insisted on wearing her "big" coat and she fastened the neck part around her mouth...it was so funny. She kept trying to talk to me in the car and all I could hear was, "mph mphh mphhh mph." Both kids were on a repetitive kick this morning. While I was taking a shower, Seth came in to use the bathroom and kept singing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg"..you remember that one. But over and over! And in the car on the way to daycare, Lily kept singing "London Bridge" (muffledly).
Well, its a wet morning but at least its a Friday morning. I'm trying to keep a positive outlook on this day. Oh, I do have something to share. Last night, I was somewhat upset on my way home from work, so I tried to call my mom, who is staying at my aunt and uncle's house to help with the new baby, to vent. I ended up talking to my uncle, who, only yesterday, got out of the hospital after having his kidney taken out (b/c of cancerous mass). His feet are so swollen its painful to him to walk...but when he answered the phone he was as cheery as could be. He answered "Hey, well what are you doing?" and he talked a little about how he was doing but he was in such a positive state of mind, all of my problems seemed silly and insignificant. Here I am, perfectly healthy, driving home from work, feeling sorry for myself, and he's in bed, recovering from major surgery and in a lot of pain, cracking jokes and asking how the kids are. I felt ashamed. But I was so glad that I talked to him, b/c it did put some things into perspective. I need to try to focus on the positive instead of the negative so much, and I need to constantly remind myself of it. Also, he put me in such a better mood, he was just so friendly and I was so glad to hear he was home and doing better. Sometimes things aren't as bad as we think. Although depression is such an internal thing, sometimes its hard to see or feel past the feelings that seem to be consuming you. But sometimes a light breaks through, and momentarily, you can see things for how they really are, and its very refreshing and gives you hope. Did that make sense?

2 Comments:

Blogger GLITZYGRRL said...

That durn Datwin! Always so chipper! Ha! Well you didn't see him earlier that week, so yeah he was definitely happy to be home. You know, he later told me that he actually thought he was going to die? Things got off to such a rought start after his operation. I was worried to but tried not to think that negatively about the outcome! I know what you mean, feeling guilty about your own problems... YOu know I'm full of personal problems but then when I hear a tragic story or something and think "it could always be worse.. I am still in good health, etc" I feel bad and so narcissistic. Which I am VERY self-centered at times! I try not to be but that is SO me. I just can't help it. Or maybe I can. I just won't change. Or don't let myself. Wallowing in a puddle of self-pity and drama seems to be all I ever do.. I don't know.. What do you think? How are we supposed to change those kinds of behaviors?

8:30 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

Yes, I'm so glad that everything came out ok with him. And I know what you mean. I'm VERY self-centered alot of the time. Its hard not to be. I don't know how to change it, I guess we just need to remind ourselves that as long as we and our family can get up in the morning, then we have something to be thankful for and happy about. Life is just hard sometimes and its hard to focus on the good. But we'll keep on a-goin'. lol And we always have each other!! :D

7:16 AM  

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