Funny

This came from a book called Laughter is the Spice of Life. The title is "The Mom Test" by Anonymous. I put *'s by the ones that apply to me (or at least some version of them do)

"You know you're a mom when...

• You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.*
• You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
• You hide in the bathroom to be alone. *
• Your child throws up, and you catch it.
• Someone else's kid throws up at a party, and you keep eating.
• You dream that frozen pizzas are on sale and wake up you're so happy.
• The material possession you want most in life is a minivan.*
• Your child insists that you read Once Upon a Potty out loud in the lobby of the doctor's office, or, better yet, in the lobby of Grand Central Station, and you do it.*
• You hope ketchup is a vegetable because it is the only one your child eats.*
• You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons, while your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun. *
• You can't bear the thought of your son's first girlfriend.
• You can't bear the thought of his wife even more.
• You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into unusual shapes.
• You fast-forward through the scene when the hunter shoots Bambi's mother. *
• You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.*
• You obsess when your child clings to you on his first day of school, then obsess when he skips in without looking back on his second day.
• You read that the average five-year-old asks 437 questions a day and feel proud that your kid is above average.*
• You think at least once a day, I'm not cut out for this job, but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world." *